Archive for the 'ohmygawd booze' Category

It’s not right…

…but it’s OK.
Heineken hot tubs might be useful if you like your beer boiled to perfection. Different strokes. But it does make a fun first impression.

Ze other punishment

Despite it’s place in the name of this blog I rarely write about “Amherst College”, where I’ve spent the last four years of my life and where I am graduating from in a matter of weeks. I wrote about Amsterdam while I was there and I write about the outside world now, but Amherst’s interest for me mostly lies in interpersonal relations. Besides, if I did make blanket statements about the college, I’d be dumping four years of mixed feelings and frustrations out onto you.

As I told one of my professors earlier this week, I didn’t choose Amherst with much enthusiasm. Conversely, Amherst didn’t really choose me: my name just happened to be pulled from the wait list. Had that not happened, this blog would have been called Wesleyandam. (Well, at least the name worked out.) Since I’ve gotten in, I’ve toyed with the idea of transferring out way more than I should have. If you know me, you probably know why. I love the academics, but I’m not crazy about a lot of the people. Another reason to leave comes to mind when I see articles like this.

Now, Amherst will probably hate me for saying this, but I’m going to say it anyway: the food at Amherst College is a nightmare when compared to other similarly ranked colleges. What we have at Valentine Dining Hall is not fresh, it alternates between overcooked and undercooked, and they have no concept of seasoning. No concept whatsoever. Yes, high school senior who happened to Google “Amherst College”, “dining hall” etc. while doing some post-acceptance research and found this page. It’s true: this food’s really nasty. You will be sick, very sick at least until the end of orientation. I lost eight pounds in my freshman year, and I won’t get all of them back until I leave. Unless, of course, I start drinking as heavily as too many people here do. Please take this into consideration when you choose. I wish I had.

Party like a rock star? T-t-t-totally don’t…

Dutch Word of the Day
Stome wijfjes.

Stupid b*tches.

Well, they are:

Wednesday, September 5, 2007
For two Northeastern freshmen, school year begins and ends with arrest

By Andrew Ryan, Globe Staff

A pair of freshmen at Northeastern University learned a tough lesson before classes even started this semester, when one of them allegedly leaned out the window of his dormitory and yelled something regrettable in earshot of plainclothes police officers.

“If you’re looking for weed, my roommate Ferrante has some for sale,” Michael R. Emery yelled, according to a release issued today by the Suffolk district attorney’s office.

The sales pitch, made Sunday to a fellow student out a second-floor window at the Hemenway Street residence hall, got Emery, 18, and his roommate, Matthew J. Ferrante, 18, in a lot of trouble. After their room was searched and officers found a bevy of marijuana, smoking accessories and liquor, the pair was arrested, arraigned, and apparently thrown out of school….

According to the release from prosecutors, police went to the second floor of the dormitory after hearing Emery yell and found the door open. In plain view was a bottle of Grey Goose vodka, a shot glass, and a plastic baggie of marijuana…

As they spoke to the teens, police spotted another bag of marijuana and a glass pipe. The officers read the students their rights and received permission to search the room, according to the release. The search yielded eight small bags of marijuana, a larger bag containing three to four ounces of marijuana, hundreds of clear plastic baggies, and a Triton T2 digital scale. The officers also found a grinder, a bong, $1,045 in cash, bottles of Malibu rum, Smirnoff Twist raspberry vodka, and Southern Comfort, and a vaporizer, a device that uses heat to release marijuana’s intoxicating chemicals but does not burn the plant.

Outside the window of their room, the students had rigged a pulley system that had been designed to raise and lower items from the room directly overhead. It was not immediately how the students were using the pulley system, prosecutors said.

Emery and Ferrante were arraigned Tuesday in Roxbury District Court and charged with possession of a class D substance with intent to distribute in a school zone, possession of alcohol by a minor, and conspiracy to violate the state’s drug laws. The teens were released without bail…

As someone who lived in Amsterdam for some time and has an affinity for the Showtime series Weeds, I have to say that I’m not that much of a party animal about the stuff. (Combination of asthma, apathy, and wee bank account) That said, I think if it was legalized and regulated, drug arrests and street crime around it would certainly decrease. Although vehicular homicide might increase, since the US is so much more car based than the Netherlands and we already have enough problems with drunk drivers, let alone high ones.

One nice thing about weed being illegal: it sure helps you separate the strong from the weak and stupid during orientation. Good job, Northeastern.

Other Half of the Namesake

Dutch Word of the Day
Goede tijden.

Good times.

I seem to have forgotten to mention the other half of this blog’s namesake: Amherst. Amsterdam is a much more interesting place, let’s not kid ourselves. Amherst, like most other schools, is a blank slate that gets interesting 9 months out of the year when you throw some staff, teachers, students, and booze (not at the same time) on it and watch what happens. Very different to my four months in Am-dam.

None of the buildings, to my great and continuous disappointment, have any Dutch names attached to them. It’s all “Pratt-Pratt-Williston-Keefe-Fayerwether-Pratt.” I’d be content with a stray “Vanderbilt”, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon.

I didn’t bring much in the way of decoration except for a bunch of things from my time in the Netherlands, so it looks like the Dutch consulate spat up a little on my walls. I’ve got a map of the Netherlands and Belgium, an Aruban flag, and Dutch Antillean flag and a huge Amsterdam Flag.

Not on the walls: lovely delft kitsch (see above), my bottle opener from the Heineken experience, a shot glass, and a little English rugby ball. I wish the flask was from Amsterdam, that would be the only way to make it cooler. I think it’s too beautiful to be used, don’t you?

And it goes on and on, my friend…

Dutch Word of the Day
feest: party
De feest nooit eindigt!
The party never ends!

I finally went out on the town last night and 21-ed it up on Hudson street. Good times. I like New York a lot, although we lack the liberal wackiness of Amsterdam, and the duty free liquor of the Antilles (as seen above).

I have a ton of family between Aruba and St. Maarten. Consequently, I have a ton of Dutch stuff around my house, including delft and Vermeer/ Rembrandt prints. It’s one of the things you take for granted growing up. Who doesn’t have 3-4 delft dutch boys and girls kissing randomly placed throughout the house? Then you realize that there aren’t that many Antillean kids in the neighborhood. Oh, there are tons of West Indians because it’s Brooklyn. But not Antilleans.

In fact, aside from my brother, I haven’t met that many other Antillean American kids. I think they all just stay between the islands and Holland. It’s a pretty smart move.

More like "Heineken BOO-ery!"

Dutch Word of the Day
druk: busy, crowded
De Heineken Brouwerij was veel druk.
The Heineken Brewery was very busy.

Sorry it took me so long to back to this. I don’t know why, cause I’ve been meaning to hate on this place all week.

So my brother Martin (aka Martlock, cause he’s a lawyer now) came to visit me this past weekend. It was Pentecost and everything was closed so it made it difficult to get around, but we managed. We went to to Pancake Bakery first, which was amazing as usual despite some sloooooow service. Then we decided to go to Heineken Brewery.

I thought the Anne Frank line was serious. Nope, the Brewery was even more special. But with the 11 euro entry you get three beers and a free gift (which you, thankfully, won’t get at the Anne Frank Huis). So we waited and eventually got in. It’s a very Disney looking place, all things considered. There were brightly colored displays and exhibits, and something that looked like a scene from the Haunted Castle, except involving the scientist who helped develop some kind of yeast. Basically, it’s for beer nerds.

Things were going great until we got sucked into this inexplicably long line. It was supposed to be a quick five room walk through showing the different elements that go into beer, but it was packed. We stood on it for what felt like a half hour. Turns out that there were two lines: One for the rest of the exhibit, and the other for a “ride.” Since we stayed on the line for long enough, someone (Martin) suggested that we might as well go on the ride.

OK. So this ride was supposed to mimic what it feels like to be a bottle of beer in the factory. We had to stand in a small movie theater looking room, hold some bars for safety and watch a screen, while the thing we were standing on rocked, simulating the movement of a bottle on the conveyor belts.

I was angry within seconds of getting on this “ride.” This was embarrassingly bad. This terrible music was playing in the background and none of the shots were even trying to be continuous. My brother and I just laughed the entire time. It ends with you, the “bottle”, getting put into a box and shipped somewhere. That box is then opened in a bar, and the tune “Celebrate Good Times” by Kool and the Gang plays. That’s when we really lost it.

At least we got beers at the end. But honestly, if they wanted to make us feel like bottles of beer, they should have filled us with alcohol first.

Queensday: The Dutch St. Patricks

Dutch Word of the Day
koninginnedag: Queensday
Vandag is koninginnedag.
Today is Queensday.

Queensday is the most hectic day in the world. It’s impossible to get around anywhere in the city. It’s such a problem. Everyone was wearing orange, (even the dogs) drinking on boats and wandering the streets. We saw some woman getting pulled back into a boat after falling into the Prinsengracht. Today wasn’t cold, but that couldn’t have been good. I hope her cell wasn’t in her pocket.

All of the boats played that repetitive, bad techno that one usually associates with gay pride floats, except everyone here was into it. It was a little scary because when music that’s entirely beat driven and there are sound systems playing all over the city, if feels like it’s all one big song that never ends. There were a few exceptions. The “Cha Cha Slide” boat was my personal favorite.

People set up stoop sales in front of their homes and were trying to sell all there stuff, including pancakes and beer. Apparently, Vondelpark was entirely reserved for children selling their stuff, dancing around and playing instruments. I’d have loved to have seen that, but it just too crowded to even think of going there.

I felt bad for the tourists who rented MacBikes, because bikes were nearly useless today. There was no tram service, either. I’m a bit worried, cause I’m heading to London tomorrow, but I should be fine.


In like a lion, out like a kicking screaming son of a bitch

Dutch Word of the Day
weten: to know
Ik weet het niet.
I don’t know.

You’d think March in Amsterdam would be hell, yes? It was nice for the first half, but for the past two days it decided to get special, so I suppose that adds to the March-like capriciousness.

It hasn’t been raining/snowing as much as showering painful, chunks of ice like shards of glass without warning. I tried to go to the filmmuseum by Vondelpark today. It was sunny until I got to the Anne Frank house (not that far from me at all) and this ominous cloud appeared and nature’s shards of glass were in my face. It was terrifying. People were running for shelter. At one point today I went into the Rijksmuseum just for warmth. Good thing I got in free with my museum pass.

In other news: Pancakes and Booze and Bad Pop Music on the Prinsegracht next Thursday. I’m planning a whole array of dessert pancakes. Think Powdered Sugar, Jam, Syrup, and Cracktella (!!!) I’m very excited for this.

For those of you in Amherst, fear not. I will bring this party back to the States.

Oh, Dutch Class

Best. Dutch Class. Ever.

The Professor shows up mad late, clearly a little buzzed from this school reception thing before hand, and they usually keep the wine going. He’s just laughing like, “Whoops…yeah, you had a quiz today. Sorry I’m late! OK…for today the class will just be the quiz, and then we’ll head out for drinks!” And then we went to this bar and he was like, “First round on me!”

See, in the Netherlands, it’s all good. In the US, an investigation would ensue.

November 2021
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