Natalee Holloway meets Hercule Poirot

This is what’s in the news:

Dutch tv crime journalist Peter R. de Vries claims to have solved the mystery surrounding the disappearance of US teenager Natalee Holloway on the island of Aruba. The Aruban authories say they have re-opened the case.

De Vries said he used a hidden camera to answer most of the questions surrounding the girl’s disappearance. Holloway vanished while on holiday on the former Dutch colony of Aruba in May 2005.

Holloway’s mother Beth Twitty was in the Netherlands on Thursday to discuss the case with De Vries. ‘It was very emotional,’ the reporter told tv programme Hart van Nederland.

In a press release published on De Vries’ website, the Aruban justice ministry says the fresh information ‘may shed new light on the way Natalee Holloway died and the method by which her body disappeared.’ It says it is currently investigating the ‘reliability and value’ of the information.

De Vries has refused to go into further details. The full results of his investigation will be broadcast during his Sunday night tv show on SBS.

Here’s what I think/know:This is still only getting attention because she’s a (blonde, middle class) white woman in America. If I went missing, you’d never know from the media. If it’s seems like I have little sympathy for the situation and the way that family bullied Aruba, tough titty. That’s the way it is.

And De Vries: Stop being cryptic. It feels like those episodes of Poirot when he’d round up the murder victim’s family and friends (aka the suspects) in a room and go through motives one by one, until uncovering the person you least expect. It’s only cute when accomplished by round little Walloon Belgian detectives.

However, this could be entertaining. Were this a real episode of Poirot, there would be no killer. Natalee Holloway would still be alive, and in disguise as Nancy Grace’s assistant. (GASP.) They were in on this together all along.

And that, Hasteengs, would be that. *cue exit theme song*

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