Fiets fout? Fiets weg.
Unlike a lot of music bloggers (and hypem users) I don’t like Animal Collective that much. (avoids flying tomatoes) Hey, easy; just because someone says they don’t like something doesn’t mean they think it’s bad.
For whatever reason, “What do I want? Sky” works for me… after the 2:45 mark. Maybe I need my organized chaos to be wound particularly tightly.
What Would I Want? Sky by Animal Collective
Here in Scotland, the sun rises at about 8, and sets at 15:30. And you start seeing long shadows at noon. Seriously. Honestly, there are moments when the seratonin just dips. I hate going into class at 15:00, leaving at 16:00, and fighting the urge to call the Scottish answer to Safe Ride. Apparently, in the summer, the sun rises at 4:00, sets at 10:00. Happy/manic medium can be achieved if you stick around long enough, I guess.
I live in the hotel-like David Russell Apartments, which is apparently good for Green Tourism. It’s also good for my cardiovascular system because it’s a friggin mile away. Pictures to come. This place is nice, but not nearly as awesome as living in the repurposed hospital in Leiden. Meh.
I’m so excited for the annual Bad Sex Awards put out the Literary Review. The nominated passages included famous and non-famous writers. (See contending passages here) My favorite previous contender was Zadie Smith’s deliberately awful sex scene on On Beauty. Leaves with that “Urgh, I wanted this to happen?” aftertaste.
I think the biggest crime I’ve seen in these passages are the strong vein over-thinking, the sense of, “yes, I did do the reading and, in fact, decided to regurgitate it here!” That’s not the place for it! Nobody feels like a friggin’ seismograph during sex. It’s nice that you saw a seismograph in that museum, but it has no place during this moment in your novel.
Maybe it’s one of the side-effects of academia’s increasing shadow over the world of novel writing. Or it’s just an aesthetic misfortune in general human thinking in the too-much-information age. We learn all these fun things and stuff them into our stories. Fair enough. But if you can recognize your weakness and curb it, please do so.
The Philip Roth entry is pretty bad, but from what I can tell from the synopsis of The Humbling, the entire book seems like it could’ve been up for this contest. However the entries from Richard Milward and Paul Theroux give it some stiff competition turgid competition throbbing competition pulsating… uh, they might win.
God, the word choice in some of these just makes me want to heave.
I’ve had to write sex scenes before, and I never like doing it because I’m so afraid that it’ll turn out like these. I think the best think to do is a. try not to compare sex to something really far-fetched b. firmly decide whether the reader should be attracted or repulsed/ strategically map out how to do this and c. try not be clever. (Don’t believe the movies, no one’s clever in bed…if everything’s going properly.)
Fumble by Architecture in Helsinki
Camilla Parker- Bowles- Windsor (?) has a deceptively easy looking job. Visiting factories, schools and other such places while wearing a big smile should be easy, but on one trip to a nursery school, the Duchess of Cornwall accidentally ass-checks a kid in the head, then she tries to turn on some Christmas lights by pulling this ancient-looking rope, and the darn thing breaks.
It’s OK, honey. I definitely make the third picture face on a daily basis.
F**k Was I by Jenny Owen Youngs
No way! I thought she’s be around forever! (Unrealistic, I know, but that’s just how it felt.) It’s just the 2009 pattern of stuff that you’d thought would go on into perpetuum ending.
This is quite a long headsup, though. I hope the next year and heavy change leading up to it isn’t an extended and remixed dirge. I remember when the headmistress of my high school retired after an eon there, and there was a long, celebratory funeral march to the retirement Mass. It seemed like the whole year was dedicated to the one, simple act of leaving. It cast a shadow over everything (including my class’ graduation, which kind of pissed us off). If that’s how I felt about the headmistress’ retirement from a Catholic school, imagine how crap it is for me when the retirement is for friggin’ OPRAH. She’s like the headmistress of television. And that school in South Africa, but I digress…
I’m not one for extended goodbyes of this sort. Hopefully, I won’t be in the US for this footage. I was there for Michael Jackson, Ronald Reagan, all that good stuff. I can’t do it again.
Grindin’ My Way (Frank Sinatra vs. Clipse) by Team Canada
Quick followup from yesterday:
Apparently, Brook Magnanti’s dad blames his own affinity for prostitutes (150 of ‘em) as a factor in Brooke’s decision in joining the profession. I don’t know if things are as simple as all that. Maybe there is something in our minds that links personal inhibitions with parental behavior. Or, maybe, it was an arbitrary choice. I really don’t know.
I wonder if he’ll regret making this revelation. It seems a bit attention seeking. A little Michael Lohan-ish, if you ask me. But we’ll see how he feels the morning after.
The Kids Don’t Stand A Chance by Vampire Weekend vs. Miike Snow
Belle de Jour came out on Sunday! And she has a … PhD?
This is a bit unnerving for those of us who are still in school. Is this what’ll I’ll have to do to get funding as a student in the UK? 300 per hour sounds lovely, but I don’t think this job is for everyone. (Neither does Brooke.) Besides, I only write about prostitution…
I’ve been in love with this song from Flight of the Conchords for this past month, so this should come as no surprise:
You Don’t Have to be a Prostitute by Flight of the Conchords
Apparently, it’s rainy/hurricane force winds weekend in the UK. The entire UK. There’s nowhere to run!
–in the UK, fortunately. I had three week UK visa drama and temporary deportation. Yum. So for those of you looking to get into the UK for study in January/February:
First, get a good visa expediter. i,e. A good one should properly vet your materials and help you out. Mine (TDS in NYC) did not. They were horrible, don’t use them. I got more help from the A Briggs website than I did from the morons I was working with. Also, when you select a service, double check that they are on your consulates approved list of couriers. As I later found out, mine was not. So be careful.
Secondly, get the following:
1. Bank statements showing 5,400 GBP. If your parents are backing you up with their bank statements, be prepared to add on
a. A letter of support, signed by all parents involved.
b. A long form of your birth certificate, showing both parents’ names. If you’re adopted, use whatever forms are involved for that.
2. Transcripts from the schools listed on your visa letter. If anything’s not in English, get it translated. My Amherst diploma’s in Latin and my last post-grad school was in Holland, so I had fun with this one. Again, no one told me.
3. Fresh biometrics: These expire within two weeks, so work to get everything through quickly, or else you need to apply again.
4. Appendix 8 of the UK visa form. (My expediter didn’t even tell me I needed this. Neither did the particular UK BA site I used.)
5. Online application, not paper. You make the biometric appointment through the online application. The paper is only good in the UK, and that’s for a reapply.
6. Passport with enough blank pages. You can always add pages through a competent service
7. Passport photos. Take more than the recommended two. The consulate ended up botching my initial visa, so they
8. Visa letter, preferably with a recent date (ask your school)
Hopefully, this is useful to someone. If anyone can suggest anything new, I’m more than happy to add it to the list and keep updating.
The World Has Turned And Left Me Here (Weezer Cover) by Bit Shifter
I returned to this blog was too late to comment on Kanye West while the VMAs were still fresh. But I will say this: if Joe Wilson shut down the keyboard cat shop the week before, this Muppet mashup is a great substitute for playing off Kanye.
Don’t even get me started on Lil Mama’s foolishness.
I’ve been teaching ESL to children, finishing my thesis, getting certified to teach ESL to adults, preparing an epic move to Scotland– oh, fuck my excuses. There are none. I’m sorry. Here, have some awesome Passion Pix remixes. On the house. The freshly re-entered house.
Sleepyhead by Passion Pit (Run Toto Tun Cover)
Sleepyhead by Passion Pit (The Knocks remixes)
It’s too late to do an MJ RIP post. And I’m still a bit jetlagged. And overdue on an E-603 shoutout. But I’m going to Scotland next year! Whoopie! And I got work in Pennsylvania! Yay! And I’m a bit busy at the moment being somebody’s….
Sorry all. I’ll be back soon, with updates.
Questions? Comments? Post suggestions?
Leave a comment or mail me at:
amherstdam....(at)....gmail.com
